Enough is enough. You keep on saying youre tying but you’re not trying your best. Fact is his grace is sufficient but that doesnt give you the right to misuse it take advantage of it. Make mistakes because you know youll come back with your tears n since he loves you he will take you back. Give you another chance ,trust you again, love you still.
It is written that going back to mistakes is like a dog going to eat what its thrown up. Its foolish very foolish and it could even be termed as insanity. You keep doing the same things over and over again and you expect different results well im sorry you won’t because youte not changing you just lie to yourself that you are.
Simply said its come to that point where tough love must be employed you have to realise that its now or never or I’ll keep on bugging you keep reminding you of how much you lie to yourself how hypocritical you are to yourself and to he who loved you first.
Its not my fault im like this but I remember everything mum said as we grew up. Thats why your guilt doesnt end its why everytime before you mess up you feel so bad. Why during your messing up you feel wrong feel watched feel condemned. Its why afterwards you feel guilty you cry you make promises and write commitments. Because I kept all she said and I cant stop reminding you. I read those good books and the advice stuck to me. I listened to that sermon and it touched us deeply you forgot but I didnt I cant.
I’ve recently discovered I cant forget because it is said that what teach a child the right ways and they will never depart from it. Superficially the child can depart and go away. Like you did you weny away and got involved in the complete opposite of what you were taught and you thought that you had completely left but you hadnt because I was there n all those things came to me and they keep popping up in my head when I see you stray.
It is why we can’t just go rogue like the do. Why we cant be casual as them because we know what is expected of us .we know the consequences and we dread them. So for our sake you need to stop trying to stop messing up. You jist need to do it once and for all so that I can be free I finally breathe I can concentrate on other things like how we feel about someone or what path to follow in the career.
So everytime you feel the guilt or feel the shame or see thst bitter tear. No you dont have a problem you have the solution and its me your conscience. Your subconscious self the one that carries alk the pain all the guilt so that you can walk around looking flawless.
Its a simple affair just love him more that you love all those sins. Love he who loved you first more than those uou keep stumbling over on the way. Love the inventor of th a t wisdom more than the 1st class honour you desperately want.spare me the pain for once. Man up for once and finish this batyle before it becomes something I cant handle something I can’t take from you.
I am your best friend but I cant do this any longer I am your subconscious and I think we need to cjange for both our sake.