I broke the first rule of dating. You don’t date unless you’re ready for it. I can’t say it’s entirely my fault cause well I didn’t give him those smooth vibes to give me. I didn’t give him that loving heart that was willing to take care of me.I didn’t ask for the Adele-like dedications. But he gave them to me n when he said we go exclusive well I suspect I was high on oxcytocin. So you see it was not my fault really.
Our first exclusive date will probably be one of the best stories I’ll get to give my grandkids.He held my hand in public. Carried me off the bus and to make it all better after dinner he showed me to my room. Surprisingly it wasn’t his room too I got the guestroom n he even gave me the privacy to change without peeking.

Well long story short six weeks down the line. I told him I couldn’t be with him. N his response had a nobility I had not experienced before. I have seen the sore ex boyfriends, the ones that won’t let you go, the type that gets violent, the type that bad mouths you but not this type. He just thanked me for the six weeks n thanked my mom for raising me n just like that he let me go. Said he understood I needed time.
Now back to why I said I broke a rule. All my friends had questions asking why I left. Why I broke his heart. That I had changed him. Broken him in unbelievable ways. But I couldn’t say the truth. I couldn’t say it. It would tear him apart.
He was a good man a great man actually. But he wasn’t good enough for me. I needed more than unconditional love. More than someone who got my back. I need the arguments ,the thrill,the need to keep impressing him, the pressure to be better. He was good. Always thought of me as his favourite special wine glass but truly I just need someone who sees me as a diamond. So special, intriguing and valuable yet so strong and bold. A man who is ready for us to bend each other to form the perfect shape knowing that I won’t break yet being careful not to bend too much.
#girl12
#diaryof1000girls

legitimately by jerrryKariuki

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