We can all ,atleast 90% of us, relate to the motionless running away dream. It’s usually so frustrating. You’re running away from something you can’t see but fear. You feel it approach you the proximity reducing with each breathe you take then you realise you are practically on a treadmill. Running so fast but not really moving.
     Well picture this in real life. That’s how she lived her life not even realising it. She was running away from what she was chasing. Her faceless demons were also her envisioned dreams. Somewhere along the path her dreams and ambitions had also become her biggest nightmares.
   She wants love. To find a soulmate someone to share her life with and she went for it. Going out for dates n putting herself out there yet when someone loves her libraries of disrust and walls of insecurity haunt her. In the end she flees.
    She wants a successful career. It’s no secret that she’s brilliant in what she pursues. She can see her face plastered on billboards. She already has her motivational speech down to a science. When she thinks of her future she can see herself in that car she smells the scent of her designer perfume sometimes she can even touch the hand of that young girl who thinks she’s a role model.
    Then…she remembers that one time when she was eleven and at the top of her class. How a certain person said she must have cheated. She remembers that time in kindergarten when she forgot a line in the play. That blank space in her highschool final. That time her mom was disappointed.
She remembers being told her pregnancy was a mistake.
      Her dream of being better is suddenly monster lurking in the shadows. Another mistake ready to happen and she’s even scared to dream not sure that her dreams are valid. The shadows blind her from seeing past the mirage.
   To see that she conquered abuse. She never cheated. She’s beautiful she has a talent. She’s an inspirational mother. To see all the other answered questions all the successful interviews all the eloquent speeches.
    In the end she must realise that she is subconsciously running away from the dream she is chasing. That she needs to stop running. She needs to face her dream.

#girl15
#diaryof1000girls

legitimately by jerrryKariuki

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