Does it ever get old. Being the type of girl  is always thinking about her wedding, or being a mom, or being single , or her first kiss or what she will do when he cheats or what he will say when he proposes. You get it by now right? So dies it get old being that type of girl.

     The worst part is knowing that is exactly the type of girl you are. Your life is a constant worry about the future of your love life. You wonder if other people get tired of you talking about beautiful love on Monday morning and saying love is a conspiracy before the day ends. 

 Does it ever end? Does that day come? The day when you finally stop asking the questions the day that you have the answers.  That was the day she wanted. She wanted a day when she could finally get it over it.

   She hoped that he could at least and it with her. Tell her all those years of almost getting there were a waste and it would never happen. She wanted to hear that because it was a truth she secretly knew. After all men were not flattered when a girl liked them. If they were flattered they would probably be friends till death did them part. She was finally getting to the end. Ready to finally get that closure she  desperately craved for. It was only a matter of time…

    The mixed signals would stop and he would break her heart up front. She would then hit a six month depression period and then on the beggining of the seventh month she wold wake up and not want to cry. At that point she would be okay that her true love had seen her as a good friend and she would move on and focus on other things in life.

 She had that whole plan and then it happened. The questions were back. What if she wanted a family, what if she was okay with being friends? Was there a new man in the picture?   She was back on that rollercoaster ride that she had been on foe the last ten years.

Everytime she was up in the ride with burp suspended in her throat she swore not to get back up there. She would get to the end and before opening her eyes the ride was on again. Different group but same old ride. 

Would this be the last time? Would this be the end? Had it finally gotten old?

#girl32

#diaryof1000girls.

Advertisements