Battle mode

There’s how we all plan to meet ‘the one’. It’s more often than not an act of fate  a form of star cross so intense that in that moment the world stops and all thats left is the two of you staring into each others eyes. Both your souls giving out a sigh of relief that was long overdue… Okay maybe, I’m a bit of a romantic and it doesn’t really work out that way.

I could eel myself loose control. The string holding m together was thinning out with every second.  The best image to describe what I felt is that of someone holding in a laugh. That moment in time when your body just won’t cplo-operate. Your mouth is full of air. There’s that tingling sensation coursing through your skin as your knees start to feel week. That how I felt. Basically trapped in my body seeking some form of ventilation.

This happened to me alot. I  called it the private thought syndrome. Because it’s what was going on. I’d witness something and have an opinion about it but never let it out. Well because we’ve been raised to watch our tongue. The ironic message taught to us that we should be free thinkers but be contained speakers. 

A voice in me nudged me,tempted me ,dared me to let go… It was the perfect prick and I burst out with words and emotions and all my private thoughts leaving my body in victorious glory. It was a form of freedom my soul had craved and yearned for. I felt a burden lifted from me that made me wonder why I had ever tolerated keeping to myself. I wondered how on earth I had been living my life constantly worried of people’s opinions that I never let mine out. I’d been quiet way too long.

Few months down the line the man of my dreams would tell me ‘I knew you were the one from the moment I saw you’ I would wonder what he meant and he would describe to me the day he met a human who aired their views and he would say ‘your courage drew me in like a magnet’

I’m happy I didn’t get my ‘romantic’ first meet. Happy that I found truth. That we can be free from the false courtesy of letting someone step on your shoe and you’re the one who says excuse me, the lie that it’s okay to let fear rule your life, the myth that  keeping thoughts on corruption are a taboo. 

I pride myself in the fact that the love of my life first met me giving a manager a lecture on the unprecedented bias of people in his hotel reception based on social status. 

It’s very simple…Let it out don’t hold back. know your rights, fight for what you believe in…Spill out your guts love.

#girl45

#diaryof1000girls.

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